Congratulations you’ve made it to end of the CRASH Parenting Program, and I hope it’s given you the opportunity to…
- reflect on the current situation with your teen
- decide upon your ‘non-negotiable’ and ‘big-ticket’ issues
- practise consistency in your parenting approach
- understand one another better and with greater respect
- making a commitment for them to be accountable and responsible for the actions they take
- learn more about risk taking behaviours and developed a safety plan in collaboration with your teen
- lighten up and laugh a little in times when you may previously have been stressed and overwhelmed
There is a saying you’ve probably heard around “the best laid plans of mice and men”…. and of course when you’re a parent dealing with teen issues you can count on everything NOT always going to plan. There are times when all the CRASH Parenting in the world may not sort a problem and you’re left trying to pick up well meaning pieces.
Under such circumstances, when there becomes a need to resolve conflict with your teen, I’m including some solid tips for sorting out differences peacefully.
- try to talk about problems (or potential issues) before they become conflicts
- use I-messages when talking about the issue to explain your own behaviours, feelings and point of view. YOU-messages will immediately have the other person thinking defensively
- talk about the possible reasons behind the conflict to try and discover where it may have originated
- discuss the problem without placing blame – this may require you to give your teen the benefit of the doubt sometimes
- be a good listener – let them know you care about what they’re saying and that you’ve really heard them
- go into the situation wanting to come up with a solution and be willing to cooperate and compromise
- ask someone else to act as a mediator or peacekeeper if you feel it’s needed
- agree to disagree if it’s a conflict that simply can’t be resolved to everyone’s satisfaction… and then accept it’s time to move on
- learn from experience and after each conflict review the event – why it happened, how it happened, what could be done differently and anything else which may help prevent future conflicts.
Of course like anything, the more you implement the CRASH framework, the easier it will become to bring it out and apply it during times you need it most.
Here’s your handy-to-use CRASH Cheatsheet…
By now, you’ll be understanding this program does not tell you what to do, say or how to parent your teen. Instead, the cheatsheet uses guided questions to step you though applying consistency, respect, accountability, safety… all with humour given any particular parenting situation.
Click on the worksheet to download.
Your CRASH Journaling prompts for this module…
- Have you had the opportunity to apply any of the strategies yet? If so, how did they work for you?
- Do you feel there have been any shifts in how you and your teen relate to one another?
- What’s been the most challenging part of this process for you?
- What’s been the most rewarding part of this process for you?
Asking a favour
If you’re willing, I’d love to know your thoughts on the CRASH Program. What you’ve found valuable and of course any suggestions you have for making it even better!